I don't know what is wrong with me, I have not been feeling like myself for several months. More on the ornery side, quick to speak harsh words, quick to see the negative in everything, and quick to wish I hadn't said anything...but at the same time...it is like I don't have the ability to filter it either.
Perhaps it is the medication I am trying to get off of, aggressiveness is a side effect among some other things I have a problem with. I have been having this problem about as long as I have been on the medication. I am not saying it is the problem, but the time frame is too coincidental for me. I would rather deal with the tremors and tremendous fatigue than the behavior changes that seem to be going on.
Besides, I have already lost my best friend because of my behavior. That alone is reason enough to get off the medication, I just can't risk it not being the problem. I don't want to hurt anybody else. Granted, if she was a true friend, she would have talked to me before things got to be a huge problem. But she is dealing with not being able to communicate about difficult things, and since I have already learned that lesson, I can't blame her for keeping quite and not talking things out with me. After all, I know what it feels like to not be able to talk about the difficult things.
I wish there was a hole I could just crawl into for the next six months while I hopefully get back to my old self. I hate everybody watching this terrible transformation I am going through.
Anybody know of a good hole?
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