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Saturday, June 27, 2009

My attempt to socialize

I have mostly over the past 14 years raised my kids and have had a profile off and on with various singles websites, not really entering the dating world until late 2006. While the singles websites over the last couple of years have netted dates and friends, they have lost their luster for me. I just feel like that is not where it is at for me anymore.

I had been inactive in the LDS church for 6 years and recently becoming very active in it and working extremely hard to become the kind of person I need/desire to be. I decided that it was important for me to get out and socialize at church singles activities. These activities are announced on the web with many LDS singles websites such as ldssinglesfun or utahsingles31. The dances cost a little bit of money, anywhere from $4 to $9 and there is a dance almost every Friday and Saturday night. Obviously I could keep very busy every weekend, but plan on going to only 2-3 a month. I will go to a couple of firesides on Sunday evenings as I used to really enjoy going to those. There is one just down the street from me on the 3rd Sunday of the month with a potluck dinner earlier for the singles in that stake. But will go to some of the close ones in the valley.

While I can at times become petrified when I am in social situations with people I do not know and feel like I need to bolt, I manage to stay very calm and enjoy myself for awhile until that panic sets in.

So now that I have shared some history leading me to this blog, I can tell you about my experience at the dance I went to last night. The first one I have been to in about 15 years, wow... has it been that long?? Anyways, when I first walked in they were playing some swing music and I thought "oh, great... I can't dance to this stuff!" and there were alot of people that knew how to. But the next song was modern and more my speed... lol, so I stayed after paying my $4.

I danced with maybe 5 different guys (they asked me, I was too chicken to ask anybody). They were okay, ranging in age from 50's to 60's. I think I had more fun people watching though. There was the lady that was constantly on the dance floor (I think she did all the asking), she looked like she was a maid. Wearing a black and white dress, all black, white belt with a wide white strip down the front, black nylons and white sandals. Hey, but she was having fun. Then there was this older gentleman that danced nearly every dance shuffling his partners around the outer edge of the dance completely around the floor, over and over again. There were the garden variety "will be single forever types", while they were completely weird (visually), they didn't have any problem dancing most of the time (kudos to them!) I think the one that took the award for last night was the old gentleman that came in with a mask over his face (the kind that keeps germs from getting in or out), and to top it off he had a big bandage on his head, just above his eyebrows that was white and as big as the mask on his face. Maybe he didn't know he was scaring away the ladies...? But hey, he was moving to the beat, lol.

So what was my problem? It was because all I could do was accept any invites that came my way, I didn't stand on the sidelines, I sat, and I didn't ask anybody either... I am so lame... but I am determined to conquer my need to bolt after 90 mins into the dance and dance more and people watch less. But it will take practice and lots of guts.